Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10

Friday, July 3, 2015

Our Firecracker

Tomorrow would've been our daughter's 14th birthday. Instead of a birthday celebration, we will memorialize Emily Rose in our annual visit to her grave. Since her death, I have found it healing for me to go through her "memory box" on July 4th, which includes photos of her, a clip of her hair; personal items and sympathy cards. I'd read through each card every year.

I'd let the tears fall. Some years more than others. I'd let the memories all come back; sometimes I would catch myself smiling when I remembered how much love was poured on our family.

Recently, I met with a mom who also lost her baby to a stillbirth. A mutual friend, she and I sat outside on this neat patio at a cafe in West Allis, and we just talked and talked.

It's interesting how quickly a stranger can become a friend.

She shared her story with me; and I shared mine. We all shed many healing tears that day. I hopefully left her with something called hope and the truth of knowing God hasn't left her side- not for one second.

Megan came across a picture of Emily recently while we were going through my grandma's personal items. The look on her face and her reaction made me realize just how 'shocking' it is to look at Emily's picture. It is really hard to look at. Yet, I feel the need to do so year after year.

Until this one.

This year I am going to skip the memory box ritual. Why? Because I'd rather have this image in my head when I think of our little firecracker on her 14th birthday in heaven...And this one sure makes me smile ~ Have a happy and safe July 4th!